Thursday, May 29, 2008

An OCD'ers Dream

Babies like routine. I like routine. Therefore, we get along beautifully.

The following nighttime routine helped Kallie flip her days and nights, she's sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time, and life is good.

Sit outside at dusk.
Put on pajamas.
Play our nighttime CD courtesy of my sweet St. John's friends.
Read a book.
Blessing (Thanks, EKS) & prayers of thanksgiving.
Night, night.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Tummy Time Is Only For The Weak

Our daily dose of "tummy time" always seems to end like this!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Just Hangin' Around

Kallie loves to hang out with daddy in the Lascal carrier. They are the best of buds. She definitely stares at him and follows his every move much more than she does me.

Nothing compares to a daddy.

Friday, May 23, 2008


Four weeks have flown by.

For four weeks I've struggled with learning "the ropes" of parenting a newborn. I finally (with the help of Crazy Pills, thank you very much) feel like I'm getting the hang of it and am a little more confident in my abilities as a mother.

Truth be told, I was not doing well the first couple of weeks. Learning to sacrifice after 32 years of being set in my own OCD ways was quite a blow to my little world.

I could talk about the sickening pain of extreme constipation after a c-section.
I could talk about the absolute torture of breastfeeding.
I could entertain you with thoughts of sleepless nights and diarrhea explosions.
I could write about the major postpartum depression that consumed me (and still does somewhat).
I could tell you of the time I put my socks and shoes on while sitting on the toilet just to maximize time while she was screaming to be picked up.
I could discuss how motherhood has taught me to become ambidextrous while eating cold food and talented at keeping a pacifier in a wailing baby's mouth with my big toe, while simultaneously blow drying my hair.
I could talk about the pain of breastfeeding while putting on makeup just to make the little one happy and to avoid being late at the doctor's office.
I could write about the time I almost left the house without brushing my teeth and got out of the shower without rinsing the conditioner out of my hair.
I could tell you about the lack of freedom and requirement of an army of resources just to venture into the outside world.

Of course, motherhood comes with many sacrifices...most of them I knew about prior to birth and most of them I sacrifice willingly.

However, there is one sacrifice that I was not prepared for. One that I have lived with ever since I can remember and really don't have any desire to give up. One that has caused me great discomfort now that it's power has all but ceased in our house.

The ceiling fan.

I am the world's hottest sleeper on record ever since Peanut busted my water bed at the seams and controlling the temperature of the bed was no longer an option. I sweat like a pig, wish I had a window unit directly blowing on my body, and I just might resort to finding mud to roll around in. Now that Kallie is sleeping in our room, I can no longer have the ceiling fan on mega high because we really would prefer her to not blow away in the middle of the night. For the first week I didn't even turn it on which is nothing short of a miracle. Now, it's on the second slowest speed...which might as well not even exist, if you ask me. It's killing me, people.

But, it's all for a good cause. Soon, the ceiling fan will roar again in our room. Soon, I will not awake in a puddle of sweat (and sweaty milk). I will be reunited with my love and life will return to normalcy.

But, please, somebody write it in the record books for all the world to see...I have gone four weeks without a ceiling fan.

A mother will sacrifice everything, I tell you.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

How Do I Possibly Pay It Forward?

Not only am I blessed with an amazing husband and beautiful baby girl, but my support system is more than I can fathom.

I feel overwhelmed.

For three years people have prayed and supported us. For three years it has been about bringing home a baby. For three years I feel I have not had the energy to support anyone other than myself.

And now she is here. The wait is over and it is my turn to start supporting. Sadly enough, this intimidates me and I feel I can't possibly do justice to the amount of support we have been shown.

How will I ever pay this forward? That is my constant thought right I am working through minute by minute of the day. Soon I will be strong. Soon I will get into a routine and then it will be my turn to shower those around me with love, prayers and mountains of support.

For now, I am so very thankful to everyone. Words will never suffice, but soon...very soon...I will try with every ounce in me to pay it foward.